20 September 2007

"Good" Golf

I'm trying to think of another hobby, no, obsession, that draws a person to it because it is so fun, rewarding, beautiful, and genteel yet when that person engages in it they constantly misbehave like a two-year old and lose their mind in anger like a psychotic serial killer.

Golf is the only one I can think of.

So you can imagine how rewarding it feels to actually play good golf, especially when you've traveled thousands of miles and spent some big dough to do it (as well as cashed in the immense amount of relationship capital necessary to get permission from the wife).

I've been ripping it on this trip, though the putting has been less than great. My scoring average is 81.27 through 11 rounds. Tomorrow is going to be rough; two rounds at Princeville will inevitably raise the scoring average a little bit. I'll get two more rounds in at Kauai Lagoons on Friday before I fly home, so hopefully I'll get into the 70's a few more times to keep the scoring average below 82. If I can play 15 rounds at an average under 82, I'll definitely feel like I played good golf on this trip.


Cheeth said...

I hate golf because:

1. It isn't a sport (sports require defense. yeah, that's right, i don't think track is a sport either. any arbitrary action, such as hat-punching, can be a sport if we allow games like golf to be sports. by we i mean me.)

2. Golf is only fun when you play seldom enough to not care about the result, in which case you are relaxed, and you play better than expectations. But when you get it into your head that you should be playing better, the fun is over. And you start getting it into your head exactly when you play at a frequency that will actually help you improve. Therefore, golf is only fun if it isn't really your bag. What a terrible pastime.

3. Golf costs a lot of money.

4. Golf culture is indeed genteel, in a superficial, smarmy, "we are just as ghetto as you but we won't admit it" way.

All that said, I have man-loved Captain Emus from first sight in spite of his love for golf, and that shows just what a guy he is.

Kyle said...

i dont leave posts but I just need to remind you I have beat you the last 3 rounds we have played. i think you need to raise your standards as to what "good golf" is.
get ready for the mazatlan open.

Captain Emus said...


Not a sport? Tiger Woods is the most skilled athlete in the world. The course itself plays defense, but in any event defense isn't a requirement for something to be a sport. Tennis and other racquet sports have no defense - just a guy on the other side of the net coming at you with his own offense. And swimming, track and field, marathoning, and other individual sports lack defense but are unequivocally sports.

When golf sinks its addictive teeth into you and never lets go, you will understand the appeal. I hereby offer to treat you to a special round of golf, with my own narration as we play, the next time you return from your sojourns in the far east.


First of all, rounds played in a scramble format do not count in our head to head totals.

Second, I have won 9 Orem Opens and you have not won any. I'm no math major, but I think that gives me the slight edge. I am preparing night and day for the Mazatlan Open, my friend. It will not be pretty if your name is Miller. (Except for Sam Miller. She is pretty always, even if Kyle is losing in golf).

Kyle said...

Those 3 rounds include 2 at your home course and one at your other home course "sleepy ridge." I didn't even count the moses lake open, which I would have won. And as for your 9 "opens," we all know how you like to inflate the truth. I will give you a couple victories. I am just saying you need to raise your game becuase the most current one, not from years ago but recently, is not good enough. You might consider taking some time off to rethink your swing.

I can give you great deal on lessons. I will give you 50% off. Family special!

Captain Emus said...

For those of you eagerly tracking my scores, you'll be glad to know that I finished the trip with a scoring average of 81.13 over 15 rounds. Fifteen rounds of golf in 8 days is an accomplishment by itself. To score in the 70's in half of my rounds, including the 73 yesterday, makes me feel really good about my game right now.